Category Archives: Humour

A Video Review of “Super 8” (with Daniel)


I watched SUPER 8 with my son, Daniel, and then we did a second video review.  Which pretty much means we’ll be doing more and more of them.  Yay!

Feel free to comment!

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A Video Review of Close Encounters of the Third Kind (with Daniel)


I watched CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND with my son, Daniel, and then we did a video review.

Feel free to comment!

My interpretation of a potential intelligence briefing with Donald Trump as President


My interpretation of a potential intelligence briefing with Donald Trump as President (based off of the news reports that have him stating that U.S. Intelligence isn’t worth anything):

Trump: So, today’s intel. I don’t trust you guys, just so you know. And nobody has trust issues like me, believe me. So what do you have for me.

Briefing Officer #1: Well, there’s a situation in Damascas.

Trump: Damascus. Damascus. Why does that seem familiar?

Briefing Officer #1: Its –

Trump: I got it! I got it! It’s Congress.

Briefing Officer #1: Er…

Briefing Officer #2: No, Mister President, it’s –

Trump: Congress. That damnable Congress. Dem ask us for money all the time.

Briefing Officer #2: We don’t do intelligence reports on Congress, sir.

Trump: I would imagine not. Not much intelligence there to gather. And I know about lack of intelligence. Nobody lacks intelligence better than me.

Briefing Officer #1: Maybe we should try another report.

Trump: Go ahead. Make it brief.

Briefing Officer #2: It is a brief.

Trump: Brief what?

Briefing Officer #2: You, sir.

Trump: I’m not brief. I’m long-winded.

Briefing Officer #1: Back on track here, sir. The next report we have is about Turkey.

Trump: Turkey!! I like turkey. Not as good as Trump Steaks, but yummy all the same. Now that I think about it, and nobody thinks like I do, I could really use a sandwich. A nice Turkey sandwich. With Dijon mustard. Not that French’s stuff, because I don’t like the French.

August 2, 2016’s Trump Speak (aka purple heart party time)


Donald Trump: I have a purple heart now. A purple heart, let me tell you, a purple heart is an amazing thing to have. So amazing.  And I already have a heart that’s red and blue, with white blood cells. Little tiny white cells.  So, so tiny.  What do you get when you mix red and blue? I’m not really sure, and let me tell you I have the absolute best, most amazing not sures. Better than anybody else’s. But now I have this purple heart. This wonderful heart that a veteran gave me. He gave it to me because he thinks I deserve to have it. And let me tell you, nobody deserves this heart of purple more than I do. After that vicious, vicious attack, and I know vicious because nobody knows vicious like I do, but after that vicious attack at the dee en cee last week, I definitely am wounded. I feel it right here (points to arm), right where I got dragged through the mud by that Crooked Hillary, trademark pending so don’t try and use that if you’re not me, and nobody is me like I am. I mean I am me and we are me and we are all together, right now. Belittle me if you’d like for this heart that I earned, and I did earn his heart, his big heart of purple. And nobody knows purple like I do. I do purple like no one. Just ask Barney. Frankly, I like this heart. Heart me all you want, people of this soon to be great again America. And for those of you who do like me, ask yourselves, do you really want to heart me?

(original version appears on Facebook)

Something Old #3: More blast from the Past – “Oh, Janeway”


First, let me say this.  I cannot believe I finally find this again.  I am so *freakin’* happy, I could smiley emoticon.  🙂

I’m just going to post this and let it speak for itself!

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Subject:  For Tuvok Lovers and Most especially Julianna
Date:  Tue, 03 Aug 1999 01:09:21 GMT
From:  Zabana Brandon
Organization:  Beguiling Imagination, Creative bIzZaRiTiViTy & The Jungle
Newsgroups:   alt.tv.star-trek.voyager

—————-
THE SETTING:  Bridge of the USS VOYAGER

It’s the end of another normal day aboard Voyager.  The bridge crew, consisting of TUVOK, KIM, PARIS, some good ol’ non-descript background types and CHAKOTAY, are easing down.  They’ve made it through another 8 hour day shift where nothing bad happened nor did anything go wrong on the holodecks.  Chakotay stands up, straightens his tunic in move somewhat reminiscent of the old Picard maneuver, and looks to Tuvok.

CHAKOTAY:  Well, that’s it for me today.  I think I’ll head off to the galley for a quick bite, and then off to the holodeck for a little workout.  (does some quick shadowboxing for effect)  Tuvok … you have the bridge.

TUVOK:  Aye, sir.

CHAKOTAY:  See you all later.

Chakotay receives a chorus of goodnight’s from the various bridge crew.  Tuvok, out of the corner of his eye, watches as Chakotay leaves, making sure that the Commander is well shielded behind the closed doors of the turbolift before saying out loud …

TUVOK:  Loser.

Kim lets loose a slight giggle and Tom swivels in his chair to face Tuvok.

TOM:  You don’t think he suspects, do you?

TUVOK:  And what would that be, Ensign?

TOM:  You know … what you say behind his back.

TUVOK:  I should hope not.  If he did, then I would be forced to mindmeld with him to make him forget.

KIM:  I can see how you wouldn’t want that to happen.  (beat)  So, Tuvok … do we get a song tonight?

TUVOK (raising an eyebrow):  Most assuredly, Ensign.

Tuvok picks up an electric guitar that is hidden just beneath his security console, and plugs the jack into the bridge’s communications system.

TUVOK:  Will you accompany me tonight, Ensign Kim.

KIM:  I thought you’d never ask.

Kim whips out his clarinet, much to the astonishment of Paris.

PARIS:  Do you take that with you *everywhere* you go, Harry?

Kim smiles, somewhat embarrassed.

TUVOK: Follow my lead.

Tuvok begins playing a somewhat maudlin tune (NOTE:  Gosh if it doesn’t sound a *whole* lot like PURPLE RAIN), then begins to sing.

TUVOK
I never meant to cause you to choose another
I’ve never even figured out why you did
I only wanted at one time to be your confidant
I only want to be the one you turn to for advice

Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
I only want to have you asking me for some advice

(Harry joins in with his clarinet)

I never wanted to be your weekend commander
I only wanted to be some kind of friend, yea yeah
Kathryn, logic’s fled you for some reason or another
It’s such a shame our friendship had to end

(everyone joins in singing for the chorus)

Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway

(Paris lights up a lighter and begins waving it)

Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
I only want to have you talk to me like you used to

Kathryn, I know, I know, I know the time’s are a-changin’
It’s time we all reach out for something new (that means you too)
You say you wanted a leader
and you seemed to have made up your mind
I think it’s all closed up now
and you got yourself, oh, that Chuckles guy

Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
All those who know what I’m talking about raise your hands!
Oh, Janeway … oh Janeway
I can’t believe you
Oh, I can’t believe that you
You picked that Chuckles guy

(Tuvok and Kim solos)
hoooooooo oooooo ooooo
hoooooooo oooooo ooooo
hoooooooo oooooo ooooo hoooooo

As Tuvok plays the last chord, Paris closes up his lighter and wipes a long tear away from his right eye.

PARIS:  That was beautiful, Tuvok.  I take back any bad thing I ever said about.

TUVOK:  Apology accepted, Ensign Paris.  (puts away his guitar)  I must now take my leave to do some meditation.  Ensign Kim, you have the bridge.

KIM:  Aye, sir.

Tuvok exits the bridge.

KIM (to Paris):  Now don’t you wish you hadn’t been busted down to ensign.

PARIS:  Ha, ha, Harry.  Ha, ha.

FADE OUT

————————————

I hope you all enjoyed that.  🙂

(‘though I’m sure I’ll hear from the Chakotay camp.)

— Zabana Brandon, parodist in one of his hearts
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